I
often watch and listen as my eight-year-old son, Cutler, and my husband have
conversations about a variety of different topics. My husband does a great job of listening to
Cutler and getting his ideas and perspective about different situations. Many times when Cutler wants something or
wants to do something my husband will not say no right away but will give Cutler
a chance to explain why. I watch my
husband get on my son’s level, stop what he is doing and really listen to
Cutler. “Listening
is the process of recognizing, understanding, accurately interpreting, and
responding effectively to the messages you hear” (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012,
p. 158). I see Cutler’s satisfaction and
eagerness to explain what he is thinking.
I can tell that Cutler really appreciates his dad’s willingness to be a
good listener and I can see how it encourages effective communication between
them.
My husband also does a good job
asking Cutler questions. He really challenges
Cutler’s thinking about different issues by asking questions and encouraging
Cutler to look at ideas from different perspectives. One of the recent conversations I observed
was when Cutler and his neighbor friend across the street wanted to have their
own yard sale. Instead of saying no
right away my husband took the time to listen and ask questions about their
idea. My husband also did a good job of
educating the children on what a yard sale actually involves and how much work
goes into doing one.
There are times when I need to
practice my husband’s communication skills.
I know I need to be more patient and truly listen to my children instead
of saying no to an idea right away. My
learning this week has reinforced the reasons for needing to be a better
listener. I also need to make sure I
give my children a chance to really express their feelings and ideas before
responding to them. I know I do a much
better job of this at school but I also want to be an effective communicator
with my children at home.
Reference
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M.
(2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.
Martin's.
Courtney,
ReplyDeleteYour husband sounds like someone who really understands how to communicate with children. I love that he did not just tell your son no when he wanted to have a yard sale, but helped your son look further into what that would entail. I assume in the end your son and the neighbor made their own decision on whether or not to go ahead with the sale. This was a great way for your husband to kind of put the power back into your son's hands.
I enjoyed reading your post. I feel that it is very important for our own children to know that what they have to say is important I also feel that when we do take the time as parents or educators to communicate with children, we are meeting each child where they are and build on their strengths.
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