Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week I walked into a conversation concerning a husband and wife.  The husband is white and the wife is Asian.  As the other people were visiting about this couple one of the people said, “I wonder if she is a mail order bride.”  Even though the person they were talking about was not there to hear the comment it still made me feel very uncomfortable.  I just shook my head no and at that time exited the conversation.  I felt the comment was inappropriate and I did not want to continue to be a part of the conversation.   

Another example of a microaggression that I have observed before is when I have been out to dinner with a couple and the husband said to the wife “Are you really going to eat that?”  The wife was a little over weight and was going to eat a certain type of dessert.  The wife decided against eating the dessert when her husband made that comment.  It made me angry to hear him say this to his wife.  If I was his wife I would have then ate two desserts!

This week I realized that even if the person you are saying something about is not there to hear the remark it can still be offensive to the people who are there and hear the remark.  These experiences were a good reminder to remember to not judge other people and that your words greatly impact the people around you. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

I chose to interview three people.  Two were family members and one was a coworker.

1.  58 year old woman

“Your culture is your lifestyle.”

“Diversity means different, change and different skills.”

2.  50 year old woman

“Your culture is your environment, the way you grew up.”

“Diversity means different.”

3.  36 year old male

“Culture is the attitudes, norms and customs of a segment of our society.”

“Diversity is a collection of varies cultures to make up a larger society.”

Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2010) said, “culture refers to how particular groups of people live” (p. 55).  The people I talked to agreed that culture was your lifestyle and the environment you lived in.  They also believed that culture related to a group of people.  When it came to diversity I found it interesting that the two women said diversity meant different.  When I was first asked about my concept of diversity the word different was the first thing to pop into my mind.

None of the people talked about social identities.  This isn’t necessarily surprising to me because prior to this class I would not have thought of social identities.  I now know the importance of social identities and see how social identities influence your individual diversity.  Also none of the people really dug into deep culture.  I believe you really have to put some thought into understanding your deep culture.  If culture is not something you really talk about or think about you are probably not going to reach understanding your deep culture.  

After thinking about the other people’s definitions it is important to me to have a deeper understanding of culture and diversity.  My own culture is not something I have really spent much time thinking about until now and I am still realizing new ideas.  I do believe that really understanding your own culture can help you be more open to the cultures of other people.  Recognizing your own social identities can help you better understand yourself and others.   

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

My Family Culture

There are not many items I would feel I would need to take with me.  As long as I had my family that would be all I needed.  If I had to choose three items the first one I would choose is my wedding ring.  I would take my wedding ring because it is an item that is with me everyday and represents the bond between my husband and I.  It represents our love and dedication to each other.  I would also take my beautiful cross necklace my husband bought me before we were married.  It is special because my husband gave it to me and it represents my faith in my savior.  The third item I would take with me is a small photo album that contains pictures of my children.  Pictures are items I truly do cherish and many times are not replaceable.     

In the end if I could only keep one item I would keep my wedding ring.  It is the only item out of the three that is with me everyday and was given to me on such a special day in my life.  After really thinking about this assignment, I feel that material items are really not that important to me.  Spending time with my family and creating memories is what is most important to me.  Having these strong relationships creates memories and you can always take memories with you no matter where you go.  If you don’t have relationships what do you really have in this world?