For the most part I would say I had a pretty stress free
childhood. It was just my mom and I
until I was seven years old and my mom married my stepdad. My stepdad was a wonderful person but he was
an alcoholic. He was a very functional
alcoholic. He always held a good job,
took care of the family and was never violent.
When he would drink he would get very annoying and embarrassing. He would drink every day after work and every
day he wasn’t working. It wasn’t like he
would drink a couple of beers; he would drink to get drunk. This became a stressor for me, as I got older
because I was embarrassed by his behavior.
I was afraid he might come to my games drunk or do something
embarrassing in front of my friends. My
stepdad’s alcoholism caused me to avoid him and have disgust towards him. His alcoholism created a barrier between us
and negatively affected our relationship.
I also saw my mom struggle with his alcoholism and keeping their
marriage together. Having this
experience when I was growing up made me realize two things: I knew I would never let alcohol control my
life and I would never marry someone with an alcohol problem. Don’t get me wrong there were great times
with my stepdad but they always seemed to be overshadowed by his drinking. Thankfully I had my mother who was amazing and
a wonderful caregiver for me. The
relationship with my mom made everything better! I am now thirty-five years old and happy to
say that my stepdad has been alcohol free for over one year!! I am so proud of him for this
accomplishment!! I feel this has brought
us closer and strengthened our relationship and his relationship with my children.
Alcoholism is prevalent all over the world but I chose to
look at alcoholism in Australia.
Roughly 13% of Australian children live in a home with at
least one adult who misuses alcohol.
Research has shown that alcoholism affects people of all levels of
society, regardless of education, religion, gender or age. Alcohol plays a significant role in increasing
risks of child neglect. This includes physical
abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and neglect of a child’s basic needs. Alcohol can have a negative affect on a child’s
development prior to birth and all the way through adulthood. There are many places people can go for help
with alcoholism. You have to believe you
have a problem and want to fix the problem before help is going to work for
you.
References
Hi Courtney, Thank you for sharing your story about your step-dad. I can only imagine how it feels to try and help him overcome his alcoholic lifestyle growing up. I honor your ability to overcome this stressor and help me despite the feelings of embarrassment and negative feelings. It amazes me how people that were in your step-dad's shoes don't see or understand the affects it has on others. I am glad that you were able to learn from your experience and find a way to bond with your step-dad after all these years. That is the icing on the cake of overcoming an addiction with the love and support of family and friends!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that after watching everything that your mom went through that you vowed never to let alcohol run your life. Its a nasty habit to get into and I know a few people that have lost their life because of over usage or drunk driving. Take care!
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